Search me, O God, and know my heart.
Try me and know my anxious thoughts.
And see if there be any hurtful way in me
and lead me in the everlasting way.
Only the Lord can really know the heart. Only He can know the true root of my anxious thoughts. He alone knows my ways that are hurtful to myself, to others and most importantly, to my relationship with Him.
He desires to lead me in His ways and on His path. He knows those things that will take away from the life that He has for me. In His great love, He searches my heart - every dark recess - and brings these things to light.
If you have lived long, you have probably been accused or characterized in a way that is negative and hurtful. I don't like to hear that someone characterizes me in an ungodly way, BUT, it is absolutely necessary to take it before the Lord and allow Him to examine the accusation.
I ask the Holy Spirit to make me keenly aware of any moment when I fall into this sin.
I want my hurtful ways to glow like a neon sign so that I am immediately turn from them and stay on the path that the Lord has for me.
Then . . . I want to be able to let go of that accusation and rest in the Lord's ability to cleanse me of all unrighteousness and restore me.
I do not want that accusation to continue to taunt me.
I do not want to be defending myself over and over again in my mind.
The Lord is my Defender and I can trust Him to bring truth to light. I do not want to be deceived in my own heart. I want to lay my heart bare before the Lord and ask Him to make it wholly His.
Then . . . I want to return my focus outward to what the Lord has for me to do right now.
I need to: Realign --> Re-energize --> Reengage
I want to be a useful servant to the Lord - not all tied up in myself - not self absorbed in either my faults or my successes.
My prayer is that the Lord would clear my mind and my heart of any false accusations and that the truth that remains would be cleansed by the power of the resurrection. I want the Lord to replace my sin with His grace and mercy.
My prayer is that the Lord will use these experiences to make me wholly His. That I will grow to have a pure heart that only He can give me. I want my life to exhibit the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Jesus - please keep chiseling away at anything about me
that does not look like You.