Monday Musings - How NOT to parent

There are so many lessons to be learned in the scriptures.  I have been reading in Genesis this week and as I was reading chapter 27, I had to just stop and try to sort out all the lessons in that one chapter.  Unfortunately, it is one of those very real times in scripture where there is a lot to learn from the negative examples of others.  It is comforting to know that parenting has been tough from the beginning of time.  It is a big job, a difficult job and the most important job one can have.  Here are a few lessons to be learned from Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob and Esau.  


*Bad Parenting 101:  Play Favorites
Isaac favored Esau because he had a taste for wild game.  Esau was a hunter - the outdoors type - and his Dad loved that.
Rebekah favors Jacob.  He is a momma's boy.  She has big dreams for this one and she is not shy about bringing them about by whatever means necessary.


*Deception Inc. with a side of Manipulation
Isaac wants to give Esau his blessing.  He is aging and knows that his days are numbered.  Before he dies, he wants to give the blessing . . . but not before he gets Esau to go and hunt for him - preparing him a meal.  You do this . . . I'll do that.
Rebekah overhears the two talking.  She quickly comes up with a plan for her favored son to get this blessing.  After all, he has already figured out how to manipulate his brother out of his birthright.  (The combination of Esau and food seems to be problematic)
Jacob goes along with the plan.  He and Rebekah kill a goat and prepare it to seem like wild game.  He puts animal hair on his arms to resemble his much hairier brother.  He pretends to be Esau and gets the blessing from Dad.

Jacob brought the game.  

Jacob wore the game.  

Jacob was the game.

The plan works.  When Esau discovers what has happened, he is devastated.  He then becomes angry and violent.  Some of the saddest words in scripture . . . Bless me, even me also, O my father . . . Have you not reserved a blessing for me? . . . Do you have only one blessings, my father?  Bless me, even me also, O my father.  You can hear the anguish in his words.

Rebekah and Jacob get what they want - but the consequences to their deceit are huge. Esau is literally angry enough to kill.  Jacob has to run in order to live.  Rebekah never sees him again.

What a cycle of deceit, manipulation and loss.  It looks awful when I see it in this family, but I know that I have been guilty of all of the above.  Wanting the best for our children can come at a very high price and they are watching and learning all along the way. 

The good news is that the Lord can redeem even behaviors and mistakes like this.  The consequences remain, but there is redemption in relationship.  Esau and Jacob make peace with one another.  God uses these imperfect people to advance His kingdom.  

What are my children learning from me?  They are young adults now.  What have I taught them about parenting?  I am hopeful that they will veer away from deceit and manipulation and be drawn toward honesty and the willingness to wait on the Lord - not manipulate a situation to their liking.  I hope that they have learned from my mistakes and my victories - my good examples and my not so good examples.

Do you trust the Lord with your children? or your grandchildren?  

Do you feel the need to manipulate situations for your own benefit or for the benefit of someone you love?  

Do you appreciate each of your children or grandchildren for who they are, without comparing them 

or favoring one over the other?

We are all human.  We all fail and make mistakes, but let's learn from Isaac and Rebekah.  Let's trust the Lord with those that are most precious to us.

No favoritism, no deceit, no manipulation.

 
Lord Jesus - keep me ever mindful of what I am modeling.  Let Your Holy Spirit convict me when I am being manipulative or deceptive.  Help me to be transparent, supportive, encouraging and faithful.  I want to honor You in every aspect of my life.